- September 2005 -

Tuesday 09\27\05 - 1:49 PM GMT
Rolling Stone puts Brick Testament on Hot List
The current issue of Rolling Stone magazine (6 October 2005 with Evangeline Lilly on the cover) has a piece on The Brick Testament as part of their cover story, the “Hot List 2005”. Under the category "Hot Blasphemy" the short article (found on page 98) features an illustration of Jesus on the cross (from The Law section of the website), provides a quote from creator Brendan Powell Smith, and lovingly describes the project as "filthier than Hustler", "more violent then The Sopranos", and "the greatest story ever told."

Tuesday 09\25\05 - 9:42 PM GMT
New FOX shows: American Guy and Family Dad
With the success of both Family Guy and American Dad, FOX Television has hired Seth McFarlane to develop two additional animated series for their network: American Guy and Family Dad. Each new show will feature an overweight, annoying father and his dedicated, attractive wife, plus two nondescript kids. American Guy will also have a pet cat who lusts after the wife, while Family Dad's cast will be rounded out by a pet gerbil who lusts after the wife. If the two new shows fare well, FOX is said to be considering two additional series that McFarlane has pitched: American Family and Dad Guy.

Saturday 09\24\05 - 5:10 PM GMT
The Brick Testament: Samson and Delilah
The Brick Testament website has been updated today with an illustrated version the Bible's most famous love story, that of Samson and Delilah. Also presented are the story of Samson's visit to a Philistine prostitute, and that of his ultimate demise as a proto-suicide bomber in a place that would later become known to the world as the Gaza Strip. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the above-mentioned prostitute also worked part-time as a dancer at a place called The Gaza Strip. I think I read that in the Talmud or something.

Tuesday 09\19\05 - 12:08 AM GMT
Smith seeks restraining order against world
Rev. Smith this morning appeared before a Santa Clara county circuit judge, seeking a restraining order against the rest of the world. Smith gave testimony to the effect that the rest of the world is "out to get him", providing police and medical reports to back up his statements. Judge Horatio Vaslquelez listened to Smith for four and a half hours and has promised a decision later in the day. If granted, the rest of the world will by required to stay at least 1500 feet away from Smith at all times and will be prohibited from owning or possessing any firearms while the restraining order is in effect.

Thursday 09\15\05 - 2:50 AM GMT
The Brick Testament: Samson -- the early years
The Brick Testament is back (from a brief hiatus) with a new look and smell, and to celebrate, five new stories have been added to the Book of Judges, chronicling the early years of the Israelites' eleventh and most famous judge, the mighty, murderous, and none-too- bright Samson. See as he squares off against a raging lion, poses an inept riddle to the Philistines, and then slaughters lots and lots of people. And manages to squeeze in a failed marriage while he's at it. For completeness' sake, there's also the story of Israel's eighth, ninth, and tenth judges. Enjoy.

Tuesday 09\12\05 - 7:53 PM GMT
Smith declares moral bankruptcy
Rev. Smith filed for moral bankruptcy this week, seeking a way out from his mountain of unfulfilled moral obligations and unatoned-for sin. "My advisors were urging me to spiritually invest in Jesus Christ as a sensible way of having my sins forgiven and getting a fresh new start," said Smith, "but a cold, hard look at the facts reveals that it would have taken upwards of 172 crucified messiahs to cancel out just my religious offenses, not to mention my various other moral failings." Smith says hopes to be back on the road to moral solvency by sometime in late 2017.

Saturday 09\10\05 - 11:42 AM GMT
Volunteer Arby's opens
The nation's first all-volunteer Arby's opened today in Mountain View, CA. Mayor Matt Pear was there for the ribbon cutting ceremony, and stayed to enjoy a Big Montana slathered in Horsey Sauce. "It warms the heart to see these men and women so giving of their time," said Pear, "bringing nourishment and satisfying the appetites of the community." Rev. Smith was on hand for the event as well, shaking hands and enjoying some Jalapeno Bites with Bronco Berry sauce. Smith will return to the Arby's later this week as a volunteer on the graveyard shift.

Monday 09\04\05 - 9:15 PM GMT
Bush declares "war on God"
Reacting to the devastation and loss of lives in New Orleans by hurricane and flood, President Bush today defiantly announced, "This act of God will not stand". "Make no mistake," said a resolute Bush, "the perpetrator of this cowardly attack on America will be brought to justice." The president called for all civilized nations of the world to join the US in declaring a "war on God". Though the supreme being's current whereabouts are unknown, Bush vowed that the US military will "smoke Him out."