- September 2000 -
Saturday
9\30\00 - 7:13 AM GMT
Preemptive attack
Noting that they had seemed "particularly uppity" of late,
Rev. Smith today, "just to be on the safe side",
launched a major preemptive attack against longtime
adversary France, knocking out both its military installations,
cutting power to most of its bakeries and cafes, and
"just for good measure", bending the Eiffel
Tower at a 45 degree angle. As the French took to the
streets in panic, Smith walked home and took a nap.
Tuesday
9\26\00 - 10:10 AM GMT
Smith acquires www.TheReverend.com
After an ugly three 3-year court battle with The Vatican - which at one
point devolved into fisticuffs - The Rev. Brendan Powell
Smith has finally acquired the international rights
to www.TheReverend.com which launches today. Although
the church originally requested he pay a "donation"
of some $500,000 for the domain address, in the end,
a special UN subcommittee ruled that Smith be handed
over the URL and be compensated $10.43 in legal fees.
Sunday
9\17\00 - 5:28 PM GMT
BRAD: the game
- temporarily down
The server which has long hosted BRAD:
the game has been shut down unexpectedly. B:tG
will consequently be out of service for about a week
while a new server prepares itself for that monster
of bandwidth text-based adventure game. Keep checking
back at it's usual address, www.bradthegame.com,
and it should be up soon. The Reverend apologized for
the inconvenience.
Wednesday
9\13\00 - 4:16 AM GMT
Ringo's Big
Adventure
The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith's first computer game (which predates BRAD:
the game by a good four years) is now available
for download,
and can be played on any modern home computer system.
Discover the joys of Ringo's
Big Adventure for yourself, and you'll never be
sad, depressed, or lonely ever again.
Sunday
9\10\00 - 7:20 PM GMT
Don't laugh
I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before, but
first you have to promise me that you won't laugh at
me when I tell you, OK? Seriously, this is really
important to me, and if I told you and you laughed,
it would really hurt my feelings a lot, so just be totally
and completely serious for a minute, and I'll tell you,
alright? ...Alright? OK, here goes... you
ready? ...Stop giggling! C'mon, I haven't
even told you yet! Oh, just never mind.
Thursday
9\7\00 - 12:03 PM GMT
9,862 days of Brendan
Today the world celebrates 9,862 days of The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith.
Planned festivities include a fireworks display in New
Delhi, India, an arial show in Banff, Canada, a minstral
performance in Panama City, and "5 for $5"
sale at all Arby's locations in the continental U.S.
The previously mentioned "Hands Across the Sahara"
event has been cancelled on account of high temperatures.
Monday
9\4\00 - 4:57 PM GMT
Rev. Smith called "A human topiary"
In a move that has baffled many and delighted others, leading French
Canadian pundit Jaques Levesque today referred to The
Rev. Brendan Powell Smith as "a human topiary".
Although the remark was quickly dismissed by many newspaper
columnists as "wholly uncalled for", other
pundits were quick jump to Levesque's defense. "Everyone
needs a good trimming now and then, eh?" noted
a fellow pundit who wished to remain unnamed.
Friday
9\1\00 - 1:44 PM GMT
Brendan rates 482nd
A recent government study has concluded that 'Brendan' is the 482nd most
common first name for males in the United States. First
names that are more common than Brendan include: Moses,
Cornelius, Delbert, Orville, Rufus, Woodrow, Rodolfo,
Horace, Hubert, Otis, Alejandro, Wade, Wallace, Merle,
Elmer, Reginald, Roman, and Guy.
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