- April 2004 -
Wednesday
04\28\04 - 4:11 AM GMT
The
Brick Testament book in German, Japanese
  The
two axis countries of World War II that America and
its allies fought so hard to defeat will soon have their
own versions of Rev. Smith's hit book
The
Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis. German
publisher Sanssouci
(an imprint of Carl
Hanser) will be printing a first run of 10,000
copies of the book to be released this Fall. The Japanese
translation of the book will be published by Futami.
A release date is not yet known for the Japanese book,
but it is expected within the next 18 months.
Sunday
04\25\04 - 5:50 PM GMT
Smith
on crack
Hard
up for cash, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith this week
singed-up for a medical study on the effects of crack
cocaine on healthy male adults between the ages of 25
and 30. The study is being conducted at Stanford University
by Dr. Humphrey Wassenbottom. He explains, "Participants
have been asked to supplement their normal daily diet
with twenty 1/10 gram tablets, or "rocks",
of crack cocaine." Twelve days into the two-week
study, asked how he was feeling, Smith looked up from
the floor where had been rocking back and forth in a
fetal position for the past several hours, shaking and
sobbingly gently, and remarked, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"
Smith will receive $250 for his time, plus 14 cents
per mile in gas money.
Thursday
04\22\04 - 11:04 AM GMT
8-second
circumcisions
Men,
have you always wanted to look a little thinner around
the penis? Do you find yourself envious when you catch
sight of a Jewish man wearing no pants? Have you been
secretly longing to rid yourself of that cumbersome
foreskin, but just never had the time for a lengthy
overnight stay at a hospital? Well, now you can stand
up proudly and say, "Circumcise me!" because
thanks to modern axe technology, The Chopping Block
is now offering 8-second circumcisions for the ridiculously
low price of only $19.95. Walk-in customers are welcomed.
Look for drive-up service to begin in Spring 2005.
Monday
04\19\04 - 12:39 AM GMT
Smith
on Tech-TV's Unscrewed
tonight
This
evening, Monday, April 19th, The Rev. Brendan Powell
Smith will be a guest on the popular Tech-TV program
Unscrewed.
Join host Martin Sargent as he chats with Smith about
the success of his Brick Testament website
and
book, and learns why Smith has dedicated himself
to illustrating the entire Bible in LEGO bricks. The
show airs at 11:30pm EST and 8:30 PST. Check your local
listings -- and see this
page to find out if your cable or satellite provider
even offers Tech-TV.
Sunday
04\03\04 - 1:52 PM GMT
Fuck
you, we're going to Arby's™
Three
years after fast food chain Arby's hired
Rev. Smith to provide a much-needed shot in the
arm to their public image, Smith has once again provided
the company with a punchy new slogan for their TV and
print ads. The first 30-second spot aired last night
during an episode of The West Wing. Several
attractive twenty-something couples are seen bickering
over where to eat dinner, when suddenly one of them
says, "Fuck you, we're going to Arby's."
We then cut to a shot of the defiant couple heartily
enjoying a meal of roast beef sandwiches, Jamocha shakes,
and curly fries. It is unknown how much Smith was paid
for his services.
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