- May 2004 -
Monday
05\31\04 - 7:52 AM GMT
Brick
Testament book in German this August
  The
German translation of Rev. Smith's hit book The
Brick Testament: Stories from the Book of Genesis will
be released in Europe this August under the title Das
1. Buch L.. German publisher Sanssouci
is excited about the release, and is featuring
Brick Testament-themed artwork on both the front
and back
cover of their latest book catalog where Smith's book
gets a two-page
write-up.
The book is already available for pre-order on Amazon.de,
the German version of Amazon.com.
Saturday
05\22\04 - 6:35 PM GMT
Smith
snoozes, loses
For
the 432nd time, The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith has lost
in a sleeping contest with his cat. "I really thought
I had him this time," said a disappointed Smith,
yawning and rubbing his eyes. "I'd been up for
more than twenty-four hours yesterday," said Smith,
"so I figured I'd have the edge on ol' Ringo who
had already spent most of the day napping." Despite
Smith's impressive performance of fifteen and half hours
of marathon sleeping, Ringo easily managed to match
Smith and then continued sleeping an extra two and a
half hours. Smith was quick to vow for a rematch. "I
can do this," said Smith, determinedly. "I
just need to train harder."
Thursday
05\13\04 - 10:44 AM GMT
Giant
self-cannibalizing fast food items on rise
In
what has become an alarming trend across North America,
giant anthropomorphic fast food items have come to life
and are eating themselves. On San Francisco's Pier 39
last week, a giant
Hebrew National hot dog was seen squirting its own
forehead with ketchup after giving itself eyebrows made
of ketchup and mustard. Then today in Vancouver, British
Columbia, a
giant order of french fries was spotted consuming
itself openly in public, causing panicked parents to
to flee with their terrified children in tow. Local
authorities are also keeping an eye on a giant
inflatable cheeseburger they fear is in danger of
coming alive and attempting to eat itself.
Wednesday
05\05\04 - 9:19 PM GMT
Smith
makes chicken soup from chicken shit
Defying
an age-old adage, Rev. Smith today made a bowl of chicken
soup entirely out of chicken shit.
"I'm not recommending you try it," explained
Smith, whose success comes after countless failed attempt
over the past several years, "hell, it's probably
the worst tasting chicken soup ever made. But the fact
is I have once again accomplished what they said could
not be done." Smith celebrated his victory by having
some cake and eating it too.
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