The
LEGO Romans mastered the art of building round structures out
of square bricks. Some say the colosseum was built just to better
their rivals, the LEGO Carthaginians, who had just completed their
impressive Squareosseum.
|
The
"cracks" between the seating sections were an intentional
measure to provide greater stability in the event of an earthquake.
|
Eager crowds
arrive hours - sometimes days early to ensure the best seating,
especially when big name gladiators were likely to be grotesquely
mauled.
|
"Have
you heard about the new BT-16?"
"I've heard it's quite a thing to see."
|
The grand Emperor
Bigus Brickus and his wife Incontinentia Buttocks.
|
In a remarkable
demonstration of ancient democracy, the gladiator's foes and available
weapons are chosen by popular vote.
|
A challenge
for ancient history buffs: see if you can spot the historical
inaccuracy in this scene.
|
A broom, although
unassuming at first glance, can be a formidable weapon...
|
As a wedding
present to his wife, the emperor had the colosseum flooded with
a sea of flowers in which his finest gladiators butchered each
other.
|
It was not
uncommon practice to sell your firstborn child into slavery just
to get decent seats at the gladiatorial games.
|
A creature
so foul, and so cruel that no man ever fought with it and lived...
|
Needless to
say they were immediately devoured.
|
|
Fifteen
arches make up the bottom and middle rows, with twenty-four arches
on the top for a grand total of fifty-four arches.
|
Flags
were often flown for special arena events. Red flags meant that
a bloody battle was assured. It's the only color flag that was
flown.
|
Security at
such events is extremely tight.
|
As the games
begin, the crowd cheers, the bets are placed, and many hot dogs,
snacks and refreshing soft drinks are available at the concession
booths below the stands.
|
Exotic animals
are brought to fight in the arena from across the empire, such
as this polar bear from Jerusalem.
|
Sometimes the
odds are stacked against the gladiator.
|
That's correct!
It is now believed that the stegosaurus's largest spiked plate
was not in the middle of its back, but closer to its hind quarters.
|
...but only
in the hands of a master.
|
She was reportedly
so moved by this combination of beauty and utter debauchery that
she vomited with joy.
|
And if you
could afford no better, there was usually something available
in the "freak seats" section.
|
And any man
so fool enough to try met a quick death with nasty big pointy
teeth.
|
The colosseum
was built in only three days, though some suspect the Romans had
help from the "Hand of God".
|
|
It has been
calculated that if all the bricks that make up the colosseum were
laid end-to-end, they would circle the universe 57 million times.
|
Originally
the flags would fly at half-mast to mark the death of a gladiator,
but soon the flag-raisers became so overworked their arms fell
off.
|
Fierce legionnaires
stand guard, ever vigilant, and only occasionally falling asleep.
|
Gladiators
come from many walks of life including criminals, the unemployed,
Christians, and village idiots.
|
It's OK, folks,
he hasn't so much lost a hand as gained a charming bloody stump.
|
...and sometimes
they're not.
|
Sometimes the
emperor scalps his own seats at upwards of 300 gold a piece!
|
The colosseum
is flooded on occasion to present mock sea battles (and to wash
away months of dried blood and carnage).
|
Although gladiatorial
combat seems morally repugnant to us today, nobody really thought
to question it at the time.
|
Legend tells
of the fiercest competitor ever to set foot in the LEGO colosseum...
|
An entire legion
was called upon to subdue this Snuggles the Cat.
|
The colosseum
stood until A.D. 216 when it was razed by invading Bionicle tribes.
|
|