Lucia
A champion discuss thrower in her native Estonia, it was all we could do to keep Lucia from
spinning around and hurling her vehicle great distances at any given moment.

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Jonathan
In July of last year, Jonathan broke his arm during an arm wrestling match.
Doctors told him he'd never walk again. Who's laughing now? Nobody, that's who.

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Lila
Lila made a sponsorship deal with the devil in order to win this year's competition.
Alas, what Lila does not realize is that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has stripped Satan of his powers on Earth, and she has no supernatural advantage. Still, it's a cool shirt.

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The other contestants...